BCMM – Online Group Support Meeting on Sundays at 1:00 EST to join us!

Join and engage in our online Google meetings each Sunday. Meetings are held on Sundays at 1:00 p.m. EST. We welcome all to join in, listen, share, and leave informed with hope and directions for your journey. This is a safe space. “No recording of any kind is allowed”. Please share this with others and invite another Returning Citizen to join. Let’s grow our community.

Join the Meeting – Click here : meet.google.com/vwb-qkro-few

For those attending our online Support group and live in the Ann Arbor, Detroit area, we have a free outing to an acupuncture center. Please register to attend on the registration form. [breakingchainsmendingminds@gmail.com] if you are interested in attending. We will then provide some dates and move forward from there.

HEALING SPACE

GROUP SUPPORT – How are you coping since returning home?

Click here on Sundays at 1:00 EST to join: meet.google.com/vwb-qkro-few

June 14, 2026: Topic: Did I Handle That Right? — Emotional Regulation, Respect, and Everyday Conflict After Incarceration

Many returning citizens struggle with situations that other people seem to brush off.

Not because we’re weak.

Not because we’re overly sensitive.

But because we were socialized in environments where disrespect, threats, accusations, and attacks on our identity carried real consequences.

This week, while driving to work, I experienced an interaction that forced me to examine the difference between prison conditioning and emotional regulation.

After exiting the freeway and turning onto a main road, another driver came speeding up behind me and aggressively passed my vehicle. As they went by, they gave me the middle finger and began weaving recklessly through traffic. A short time later, I caught up to them at a red light. As I passed their vehicle in a turning lane, they continued making gestures and displaying hostility. When the light changed, they rolled down their window, yelled a racial slur at me, and sped away.

Immediately, old thoughts surfaced.

Thoughts shaped by prison culture.

Thoughts about respect.

Thoughts about responding.

Thoughts about whether allowing something to go unanswered means weakness.

As events continued to unfold, I found myself fighting two battles at once: the situation happening in front of me and the prison-conditioned voice inside me telling me what I was supposed to do about it.

I ultimately chose not to escalate the situation, continued to work through the emotions, and made my way safely to work.

But afterward, another question appeared:

Did I do the right thing?

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The Heart of the Topic

The heart of this topic is not what happened on the road.

The heart of the topic is what happens after the incident.

Most people think emotional regulation means:

“I didn’t react.”

For many returning citizens, that’s only half the battle.

The harder part is what comes next.

You spend the day replaying it.

Questioning yourself.

Wondering if you did the right thing.

Feeling like you let yourself down.

Feeling weak.

Feeling disrespected.

Feeling like you abandoned the rules that once kept you safe.

This is where post-incarceration syndrome often becomes dangerous.

Because if that internal battle goes unaddressed, it can slowly become:

Self-doubt → Self-criticism → Isolation → Depression → Substance use → Relapse into old thinking patterns

This is why support matters.

This is why mentors matter.

This is why support groups matter.

This is why reaching out matters.

Recovery is not only learning how to regulate the initial emotion.

Recovery is learning what to do with the emotion afterward.

Sometimes the most important decision is not walking away from the conflict.

Sometimes the most important decision is refusing to carry the conflict alone.

—

How This Connects to PICS

PTSD

• Hypervigilance

• Adrenaline surges

• Fight-or-flight responses

• Replaying events long after they are over

Institutionalization

• Beliefs about respect, reputation, and response

• Feeling obligated to address perceived disrespect

Antisocial Personality Traits

• Difficulty letting offenses go

• Impulse toward confrontation

• Withdrawing from support

Social Sensory Deprivation Syndrome

• Difficulty assessing actual threat levels

• Misinterpreting intent

• Overanalyzing interactions

Substance Use Disorder

• Desire to numb anger, shame, humiliation, or frustration

• Increased vulnerability when emotions are carried alone

Discussion Questions

• Have you ever handled a situation appropriately but still felt bad afterward?

• What prison rules still show up in your thinking today?

• How do you determine whether something deserves a response?

• What happens when you don’t respond?

• How do you manage the emotional aftermath of conflict?

• Who do you reach out to when you’re struggling with self-doubt?

Practical Coping Skills We May Discuss

• The Pause Technique: creating time between feeling and action

• Asking: “What outcome am I actually seeking?”

• Separating emotional injury from physical danger

• Evaluating consequences before acting

• Grounding techniques during adrenaline surges

• Reaching out before isolation begins

• Processing emotions through support instead of carrying them alone

• Challenging prison-based definitions of respect

• Learning that restraint can be strength

Key Reflection

Sometimes the hardest part of recovery isn’t walking away from the conflict.

Sometimes the hardest part is learning how to live with the decision to walk away.

And sometimes growth looks less like winning a confrontation and more like refusing to lose yourself in one.

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You don’t need to prepare or share. Listening is participating!