By LC DeVine
From the womb there was joy, but the birth sealed the deal for life.
From my first look at your marble-brown eyes, you became my life.
I felt joy seeing you take your first step, hearing your first “Mama,” your first laugh.
Those moments I shall never forget.
I remember teaching you and watching you grow, I grew with you.
The challenges you overcame, and I – with you.
I am you and you are mine.
HOW, WHEN, and WHAT made you go in the wrong direction?
I combed the corners of my mind trying to figure out what I had missed, what
I hadn’t done for you, and what I didn’t say right to you.
The pain, anger, and drama I went through, with and for you.
Now I die a daily death.
Waiting for the courage to let go of the self-blame.
So you can now live through me.